Touchdown: How to pick up guys at your local sports bar

One Sunday afternoon in college a friend and I went to a sports bar to “watch the game,” all dolled up and ready to flirt. We stood in the back of the bar, preening and glowing at all the attention we were getting. Every guy in the room was staring at us! Or so we thought. We soon realized that the men were actually captivated by the 64-inch flat screen on the wall directly above our heads.

Sporty guys are appealing to me: they’re fun, laid back, and loyal. But they never seem to take the bait while a game is on and when the game is over they’re too hopped up on victory and chicken wings to pay attention. It was frustrating to know that on any given Sunday there were thousands of cute, single guys collecting in sports bars around the nation (with little female competition) and no way to access them. But after dating a football fanatic– and spending countless hours in sports bars- I know that it IS possible to meet men when and where they least expect it.

My exboyfriend, a Pittsburgh-born bartender, spent hours teaching me the fundamentals of football and it became a common bond between us. He was touched by my enthusiasm and willingness to learn, and I was impressed by his patience in explaining yet again the difference between offense and defense. When my ex relocated back to Pittsburgh for a job (coincidentally the same week football season started) I secretly suspected it was actually so he could be closer to his favorite team. If he only knew that I would use all of those patient football tutorials to pick up men in the future! Here’s how:

Learn Football

This isn’t one of those “fake it till you make it” scenarios. Sports-obsessed guys fill their brains with so much sports trivia that it barely leaves room for anything else. If you act like a football expert they might very well call your bluff and ask you some random question about the 1992 playoffs or Peyton Manning’s college stats. If you’re not already a football fan, then you will need to know at least the basics to pull this off. Here are some of the essentials:

· Research your team’s roster, their entire Super Bowl history, and some background on their biggest rivalries.

· Learn the lingo: find out what a sack is, the difference between a full back and a tight end, and how the score is determined.

· Learn the most common referee calls (i.e. holding, offsides, pass intereference, etc.) and the penalties that go with them. Learning the hand signals that go with them isn’t necessary, but it’s an easy way to score extra points.

· There are tons of girlfriend-geared football books out there that explain the game in plain English. I like “Get Your Own Damn Beer, I’m Watching the Game: A Girlfriend’s Guide to Football” by Holly Robinson Peete.

Put your game face on

Wear jeans and sneakers. Look pretty and casual. Drink beer and eat wings. If you only like to wear heels and drink Cosmos than maybe you shouldn’t be dating Mr. Football. Guys are in their comfort zone while watching sports and a glammed-up girl might be intimidating. Invest in an authentic jersey or a cute cap for the team of your choice. If buying something with a number on the back, make sure you have a reason other than “because he’s hot” for selecting that specific player.

Get Loud!

Football games are not the place for quiet, subtle flirtations. You need to do something drastic to drag his eyes away from the television set for a few seconds to notice you. Pay attention to the action, and when a big play happens, yell and show how excited about the game you are. Use this opportunity to look at the guy you’ve targeted and then flash him your prettiest smile. The excitement of a big play is the perfect pretense to approach him and strike up a conversation; chances are whatever guy you’ve focused your attention on will be interested in chatting about the game and flexing his knowledge with a cute girl.

Bring a friend or two

Definitely bring a wing woman or two with you, but no more than that. It’s no secret that large groups of girls make men uncomfortable, and you don’t want them to feel like women are taking over their sacred place. Sports bars can sometimes have that “no girls allowed” boy’s tree house feel to it and you might be tempted to bring a male friend as an ambassador into hostile territory. I would avoid doing this. Everyone will assume that you are his clingy girlfriend tagging along to keep tabs on him.

Be true to your team

If you like the Giants and your man is wearing a Jets jersey engage in flirty teasing about why your team is better or which team is going to make it farther. Whatever you do, don’t be a fair-weather fan or choose to follow his team just because it’s his favorite. He will respect you more for sticking to your guns than changing your mind just to appease him. You can use this rift to set up little bets or propositions, like: “I’ll bet you a beer that the Giants finish with a better record than the Jets this season!”

If you don’t think that watching football at sports bars is your kind of thing, then consider this: where else can you drink beer at noon on a Sunday, wear comfy clothes, and be surrounded by hot guys? Does it get any better than that?